Sunday, January 22, 2017

It goes....it goes... for all people

video
Yes, the message is pretty real regarding relationships. It goes both ways for men and women.  I do enjoy the music in this video

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Days Go By

The commumication line was opened
Now, it's right back to nothing
Funny, it's the same old shit
His predictable pattern is not what I want
*shrugs*
This is why boundaries exist
He continues to remain
Same as it ever was
The waters intention
Tired and drowning
More pure than his
There is no sadness here
However, I do feel for his
A friend much?
Only at his convenience
Once,
In a lifetime
Uninspired by him now
Too many days went by
I appreciate the lesson
Detatched
Careful who you open up to
Goodbye









Love is not a game


I am

It is what?
It is
Happy
Life goes
On and on
:)

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control

Nothing that has happened so far has
been anything we could control.
I have just been waiting for the perfect
Time to tell you I don't know.
Maybe I'm just reading into it a
Little deeper than I should
We would make it easy we would take
It slowly if only we could
"Hey, what are you doing out here?
You're thinking about everything, aren't you?
I know it's crazy, but just don't think of it like that
Nothing has to mean anything
Come on, come back inside"
Elodie,
Look at me,
Unless you're trying to hurt me
Heavy blow,
Down I go
Now I just want to let go
Is it right?
Is it wrong?
I don't know,
It's not the cause I'm fighting for
Anymore
But it sucks to keep on running
Eventually,
There will be
A time for clearer thinking
For now I weep
Can't get to sleep
I try to hold a good feeling
I just get one,
Here it comes,
There it goes,
And we just might,
Lose the fight, yeah
But it's alright
It wasn't our decision
Nothing that has happened so far
has been anything we could control
I have just been waiting for the perfect
Time to tell you that I don't know
Every man is happy until
Happiness is suddenly a goal
I'll just be here waiting till the
Doctor calls and then I'll let you know

Monday, January 16, 2017

Opposites

It's not enough
Connection
No direction
Melted
Frayed
Lost
I wonder
Why



Dead air

Space, distance
Unresponsive
Time passed
Time present
Round 2
Hasn't changed
Passing through
The hourglass
1 grain of salt
Pointless is pointing me
What was
What is
Elsewhere



A good read

The end...is the beginning...is the new

Friday, January 13, 2017

Silent protest

Refusing to engage in a certain discussion as I've done for damn 10 years, beginning this year.
My volunteering is finished.

Do over to tap out yet again

There really isn't anything more I can do.
Keep on letting it go, no matter what.
Let it be
Can't rebuild or get to know someone better than before when the person barely responds to you.
Seems like wasting my energy.



Tuesday, January 10, 2017

In psalm nia

3 am overthoughts
Payback
My rule
Going forward
No more contact
Up next
Im busy
Busy
Busy
Busy
What?
Im also adapting
Selective listening
Got something to say?
Didn't think so
Im busy.
Have a nice day in the life
You don't know me sir
Or is it sire?
Sin-seriously,
Busy




Monday, January 9, 2017

Someday

I keep wondering what in the world will it take to visit again, to begin again ?
Clearly, someone has a fear. And if it is the fear I think it is, I am in a different place in my life and have a lot of responsibility going on. I can't make the same mistake of missing a flight like before. I got bills to pay, kids to parent, other people's schedules to write etc...
If that is not what he is fearing, then I could assume he just doesn't want more than just a number added to his facebook friend list, but I know that is not the kind of person he is. :)
Patience is not my strong suit, but dammit, I've been patient with him for years and with my job that requires even more patience than a kid at christmas. He confuses me and that is a problem. I'm not a toy, I'm tired of this "too busy" can't talk shit.
Im too busy for those excuses.




Saturday, January 7, 2017

No No Drama......

Such a difficult week for me beginning this 2017 year. I recognize that I am vulnerable at this time, however, with past experiences behind me, I am fully aware of what can happen by allowing the wrong folks into my life at this time. I am never going into that manipulative fuckery again. 
And that realization makes me happy!


Volume up

Turn on the "Innerspeaker"
Tune out the all the chaos
*satisfied*

Thursday, January 5, 2017

As I've made strides forward, I will always have flaws. I'm ok with that.

Gaslighting

This is such a great article to read. I just wish I knew of this before I ended up having to experience it on 2 separate occaisions. I gave benefit to doubt that people can change after a few years.
Still healing from it all.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/things-wish-known-gaslighting

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Monday, January 2, 2017

Cheers

The final dance
Observed all week
His intention
To get me to say
Fuck off 
On the first day
Of a new year
There is no more
Im out!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Do the walk of....love

In some respects
As more time passes
The further the distance
The less you feel

Time passes
But what remains
Inside the heart
Is felt
Deeper than before

Salt flows from the eyes

My heavy heart
The weight
Keeping my head down today
Family lost
Driving on clouds
And smiling
A new year
Began with death for us
This is your beginning
To start
A new 365 days away
So long sir,
May you be at peace
WE ALL LOVE YOU
XOX




Everyday... Back and Forth


Two-thousand seventeen

The doors behind
Closed
Goodbye
New day
New people
New memories
Clean Slate
Hello New Year