Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Looking back into the glass of past

I recall a dream once regarding someone I was friends with. The dream was being at his home and hiding me from his ex.
Oddly enough that basically came to fruition shortly after the dream. 
A lot happened after that. 
My friend offered me a place to stay because of life changing. Im grateful for that generosity, however it ultimately ended up being a bad decision. Got into a car accident, totaled my car. Felt stuck and my body was bruised. I realized at that the universe was giving me a big wake up call, this will not work here. I couldnt get a job in that city without a car.
I ended up leaving, at his generosity again.
We got into a huge argument that left our friendship burned.
Friends with benefits while trying to sort your own life out ultimately destroyed the friendship. 
I recently reconnected to pay him back for his generosity. The guy looks damn good still, better than before. How superficial of me to be attracted to someone's appearance. That is what the narcisstic sociopath I got involved with later on would say. That was a lesson and enough for me to say I do not want to get involved into a relationship ever again. I enjoy keeping a boundary line of protection from letting someone destroy your self worth through their sick mind.
After the brief moment of meeting my friend, the friendship ending, and reconnecting for a couple of email exchanges, I have come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to be friends. 
He hasn't been a part of my life the past 5 years and neither have I in his, and that's ok.
Life still goes on.....
At least I can say I tried.
Let go, move on!