I am beginning to think the bigger picture here was some things I have said were taken in and made into some game played by others. A sucker with a string attached hoping I will fall for the game of tossing it out and pulling it back. Trying to make me believe something that is not happening.
I imagine the thoughts in the minds of those playing are "hey we can toy with someone who's mind is open and get her to play a game of bullshit," not caring about my feelings or emotions because all that matters is the game they are playing.
This type of game pulls and tugs at my heart and really hurts me at times because I don't want it to be a game. I think it's pretty unfair to do that to someone.
And yet for some reason something keeps telling me not to walk away from whatever it is that is or isn't going on.
Trying to go with the flow of whatever it is and yet I can't help but think it's just a game someone is playing with me for their own joy and don't take my feelings into consideration of what is happening..I am feeling very broken beyond repair.
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